Choosing to See...

Six weeks ago, I completed a journey on trails I never expected to step foot on. Both literally and metaphorically. Since my return home, life has not felt normal (Thank you Hurricane Harvey), and it has taken me this long to process what it all means...

My time spent in Africa this summer was so special. It was different than times before. The preparation that was required of me beforehand was tremendous, training my mind, body, and spirit for what was ahead. I spent a great deal of time figuring out how to fight mind monsters that were trying like hell to invade my mind and defeat my spirit, praying specific prayers of strength and truth (See: Mind Monsters by Kevin Gerald and Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer... I highly recommend.). Reminding myself of who I am in Christ and what He says about me, rather than what I tell myself or what others say about my abilities. Repeating these scriptures and truths and replacing those thoughts of insecurity and fear was critical to my successful journey.

Leaving Kenya was sad, but what awaited me in Tanzania was a remarkable adventure. After two days of visiting Compassion student centers and family homes, and playing with most adorable kiddos (SERIOUSLY. Their joy was infectious!!), my teammates and I started our trek up Kilimanjaro. Now, THIS is the good part...

   

Every day on the mountain brought forth more beauty and astonishment. Every turn around a corner brought a new, even more marvelous view of creation screaming God's glory. My thoughts were stuck on this amazement. God spoke all of this beauty into existence and said that "it was good." Yet, it when He created me (us), He breathed life into me and called me His Beloved. The Crown of Creation. Surrounded by all of this extraordinary beauty, more than all of that, to Him we are more precious. I couldn't get over it. I still can't.

Four days of hiking and I was feeling pretty good. Enduring headaches at high altitudes is easy when you're talking, laughing, and singing about everything under the sun with new-found friends... Then came Summit Night, and things got harder. Starting at ~15,500ft., our climb began in the dark at midnight. I kept praying over and over with each step "Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord." Hearing our guides repeat our anthem of "Pamoja tunaweza!", "Together we can!" over and over, along with their singing, was incredibly encouraging. Picturing the most beautiful sunrise I woke up to in the morning at Kikelelwa Camp a couple of days before, and knowing what beauty we would behold at sunrise at 18,000+ feet absolutely kept me moving. I pictured our Compassion kiddos and their families carrying pails of water back and forth, back and forth everyday alongside the roads of their villages. Knowing the strength they must muster up to do that each day gave me enough strength to push it each step further. Along with a constant reassurance that "God is with me" while being surrounded by those just like me, hearing sweet, caring voices singing songs of strength and victory, asking thoughtful "How are you?'s" and affirming "Me too's."  This put a rhythm in my steps and kept me moving forward.

Still, physically, I was at my worst when we arrived at Gillman's Point. Six hours of hiking in the dark meant a lingering headache and nausea. Feeling like I wanted/needed to throw up, but couldn't. Yet, not caring a whole lot, because set before me in the snow and sunrise above the clouds and the mountain top ahead was the most beautiful sight of creation I've ever laid my eyes on. It was a beautiful paradox. That two hour trek from there up to Uhuru Peak was grueling. I wanted to fall asleep right there on the mountain. I was happy and beyond pleased to see all of the beauty so far, and would have been very happy to stop many times. Though, the views at 19,341 feet were incredible. Overcome by emotion, amazement, and nausea, it was hard to move, talk, or even think straight. I will never forget those moments at the top; somehow mustering up enough breath to take it all in, to laugh and to cry with my angels and new friends for life.

This was a pilgrimage that I will cherish for the rest of my days. The memories I gained from this experience are treasured in my heart, and the wisdom is worth believing over and over again. Because after the summit, we had to come down off that mountain. But the lessons learned still ring true at sea level. What I heard God whispering to me again and again was "I am." Comforter. Provider. Giver of strength and peace and joy. That is who He is no matter the altitude, situation, or trial. He is there...

• That "lucky last" ticket on the train back to Mombasa.

• That friend who loves sharing videos of her neices and nephews as much as I do.

• My tentmate playing confidence-boosting jams the night before the summit climb (See: "Get Back Up Again" from Trolls.)

• My guide Musafa who took my backpack and fed me chocolate ("suga") and water when mine was frozen ("sippy sippy").

• My other guide Gasper who took my pack and pole and ran with me, arm-in-arm, for an hour down the mountain.

• Seat 11A on my long flight home. Not quite business class, but extra legroom! 

• Seeing a familiar face for a few unexpected moments at the airport back home. 

• That one last float around the lazy river on vacation with the fam and long conversations and laughs with siblings that are few and far between.

• Those ten uninterrupted nights at home with mom and dad while waiting out the storm. Game playing, Hallmark movie watching, and all.

• Countless sights of friends and strangers who dropped everything to rescue those from harm, to demo flooded homes, to give food and shelter in the moment of need. 

• That child in class on the first day back to school after the flood who literally shared the definition of hope, and reminded me that it all would be okay...

... God is with us. He goes before us, and walks beside us. May we always keep choosing to see Him. 

Tuende juu pamoja, 

-Sarah 

Love in Any Language

My time in Mombasa and living with the locals is coming to an end, and there is a lot that will be missed. Though I've only been here for 11 days, it's felt like many more...

Before leaving for my trip, I spent those last few days at home frantically preparing for what was to come: running last minute errands, making phone calls, tying up loose ends at work, rescheduling flights that were cancelled unexpectedly, and attempting to pack strategically for multiple trips in one. The amount of planning and decision making that went into this trip was incredible and, for me, more than ever before. My emotions were on overload at this point... as something as simple as purchasing the right kind of gloves brought me to tears. And every time I heard a song about climbing a mountain (literally or metaphorically), I started to cry! In the midst of all of this, I was losing sight of the One who had prepared and purposed me for this mission all along. 

After two days of longs flights and lonely layovers, I arrived in Mombasa safe and sound. It took me a few extra days to recover from jet lag this time, but I managed. The last week has been chalk-full of adventures, accomplishments, and some very special moments...

• Successfully setting up wifi and laptops in a school and Skyping with my mom from thousands of miles away!!! I was elated!

• Meeting a family of missionaries (who happens to be related to a family I babysit for in Houston--who could've planned that?!), seeing where they work, and enjoying a tasty dinner in their home. It was so nice to see familiar faces to remind us of the comfort of family and home!

• Getting the very last tickets on the train to Nairobi and back. Phew! This lucky last ticket put me sitting smack dab in the middle of a family from Somalia with 4 kids under the age of 5. Baby snuggles, giggling, and elephant watching the whole way home!!

• Revisiting my Compassion child at her home in Machakos!

• Hanging with my Kenyan fam in the hills outside of Nairobi, and enjoying home-cooked meals with the locals. 

... to name a few.

I would be lying if I said my journey so far has been without any challenges--it has not. I've been tired--really tired, frustrated, and confused. Remembering to use bottled water to brush my teeth, taking cold showers, applying bug spray just to sit around the house, wearing pants so the bugs won't bite-even when it's hot and no A/C, asking for directions and help for the simplest of tasks, and constantly doing the "social fake" and pretending like I understand what's happening around me when I actually have no clue...and typing this now in the dark without power. All of which lead to me longing for the comforts (luxuries) of home (hashtag PERSPECTIVE). I am stubborn, and at times easily annoyed and ungrateful.

Though, through it all, I've seen glimpses of God's presence and love, and experienced His goodness and favor like never before. I've learned once again that a smile can break down any language barrier or cultural difference, and taking the time to show a person compassion and understanding is respected worldwide. He's reminded me of whose I am and who I am to trust. When things around me look impossible, I can trust Him and remember that He is for me, has gone before me, and walks with me every step of the way. Knowing that makes things here easier, and a whole lot more fun!

On Wednesday, I leave for another big adventure in Tanzania as I will join a group of other Compassion International sponsors. We will spend a few days in town visiting child development centers and family homes, as well as seeing the water sanitation projects we raised funds for in action. Then, we will begin our trek up and down Kilimanjaro on Saturday. I beg for continued prayers for my physical and mental health as I tackle this new and challenging adventure. Countless prayers have been answered already, so keep 'em coming!

Finding JOY in the Journey,
-Sarah