Roller Coaster...

...of emotions. It's the only way I can describe it. A day in the sun on a beautiful African beach = relaxation. Another terrorist attack near where I'm living = fear. Sweet African school kids hanging all over me, hugging me, singing and dancing, and playing with my hair = pure joy! 

A bad infection and a trip to the local medical clinic = more fear. The thought of reuniting with friends and family back home = excitement! Telling a another parent that I am happy to help their child today, but then I'm leaving = disappointment. A phone call with my best friend, Mom, or Dad at the end of long day = love. Getting scammed or overcharged AGAIN because I'm "mzungu" or not being able to tell anyone where I'm from in fear of judgement = frustration. My host family taking care of me when all I can do is eat (barely), sleep, and take medicine = humility. Saying goodbye to people who have welcomed me into their lives, taken care of me, and loved me = sadness. 


Today my trip to Kenya comes to an end, and it's hard to explain how I feel. So bittersweet. I don't think I've ever been so excited to get home and see my family and spend quality time with them and my best friends. I am absolutely thrilled about running down the airport terminal into those arms and hanging on to those hugs I've been desparately waiting to get! I'll see my very best friends and can't wait to talk and laugh so hard we cry. :) BUT, at the very same time, I'm not sure it's ever been this hard for me to say goodbye. My heart is being torn between two worlds. I am so overwhelmed by the many, many blessings God has given to me. My friends, and now second family, here are begging me to stay. And I can't. The question I've heard most often from friends, teachers, and parents I encounter each day: "When are you coming back?" And I don't know. Sometimes I even wonder "Why? What's to love?". It would be so much easier if I didn't have the most WONDERFUL family at home who love me so much it hurts. Or the MOST caring, and funniest friends in the world. Or the BEST job and coworkers I could ask for in a city that I love. But God has blessed me beyond anything I could imagine...


From the words of Jesus in Mark 5:19, "Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you." And so, until next time, whenever that may be, I will say "good bye" and "see you later" to Mombasa. The place whose culture and lifestyle has taught me so much, whose people have grabbed hold of my heart, and given me experiences and memories I'll never forget. 


Nakupenda Sana,
-Sarah :)